For the past few days I’ve had a touch of the blues.  My internship has been a distraction from looking for a job, and now  that I’m half-way through I really need to get back to the grind.  The thought of it has just killed my brain and now I can’t seem to finish anything.

I have six half-written articles I’m working on for Skeptic North, and no matter how long I stared at them, I couldn’t finish one.  I have half-started jewelry projects lying all over the house.  I have a dozen emails that I need to reply to.  When I get like this I regress back to highschool.  I don’t know why.  Maybe because I was always so lost then, and I’m reminded of that time.

My regression came in the  form of watching every episode of My So Called Life over the weekend. That show really resonated with me when it was on. I really felt like I had a connection with Angela, the way you can connect to something at that age.  I remember thinking, she dresses just like me, has red hair, and listens to the same music!  Of course, so did a billion other girls then, but at the time it felt personal.  That feeling was so important to me then. Some one really understood me. Her friends were these weird combinations of aspects of my friends. Her problems were versions of mine.  Of course, I also really wanted to be Angela.  She got her dream guy in high school. Jared Leto, what ever happened to you? She got to have wacky adventures with her friends.  She got to have these great monologues where she was so self-aware.  Not to mention Claire Danes is just so adorable.  It made me remember how awkward we all were then.  How every little thing seemed so important.  Every tiny problem was the end of the world.

At the end I really wanted to don my flannel and listen to some Porno for Pyros. What ever happened to my combat boots? It also made me feel OLD.  I’m about to turn 30, and it just suddenly dawned on me that the 90′s were so long ago.  The show came out when I was 15…that was half of my life ago!  I’m not sure exactly when it happened.  I’m an adult!  I have a checquing account and responsibilities.  I feel old enough to think that the music these teenagers are listening to today is crap, and they just don’t understand what sharing music was like before the internet.  This turning 30 thing is getting me down a lot more than I want to admit.

But, I’m currently drinking hot chocolate with Baileys, and I feel much better. I also had a surge of creativity.  I finished a bunch of bracelets yesterday and I’m working on some earrings tonight. I’ll post pics soon.  Tomorrow I’ll bravely face my to-do list, and get back to the real world.

OK life, onward and oldward!