Layoff blues : This Blog Contains Caffeine

Layoff blues

I haven’t been posting much lately. I’ve really been in a funk since the announcement that my office is closing and I’ll be losing my job in August.

Stephen Fry talks about feeling sorry for yourself as the most destructive vice a person can have. I agree. But rationally understanding that isn’t enough to make me stop doing it. I feel really sorry for myself and I can’t stop.

I feel betrayed. I worked hard for my company. I signed on with them for the long term. All my career plans and decisions were made to support my career at eBay, and not what would look good to other companies. I put my heart and soul into my job, and I’m being thrown away. I’m sure I will find another job, but I’m afraid that it won’t be as good as what I have now. I work with fantastic people in a great environment with lots of little perks. I don’t know if I’ll be lucky enough to have that again. I’m trying to look on the positive side and take this as an opportunity to make a career change for the better. But really, I’m being forced into the unknown and I don’t like it.

I was in a lot of pain before my surgery last month. Now I’m feeling so much better, but I haven’t been able to really enjoy that fact. The layoff announcement came right after I had recovered. I should be thrilled and thankful that I’m pain free and have so much more energy. I am glad that I’m feeling better, but the layoff is the thing that is always on my mind.

The stress of all this has left me feeling uncreative. I haven’t been spending time on my jewelry or my Etsy stores. I lost all the momentum I had gained in this area. When I think about it now, it seems like a chore and not a hobby.

Logically, I know I have a lot to be happy about, that I should focus on what I can control and not stress over what I can’t. But as much as I want to feel that way, I just can’t.

Stephen, I agree with you. But I need your self help book to contain a chapter on how to actually make that happen.

2 Comment(s)

Sorry to hear about your state. I know how you feel. I hate change myself.

I don’t think feeling sorry for yourself for a short period of time is destructive. I’m sure some psychologists will say the same (i.e. not feeling sorry for yourself at all simply means bottling it all in). In fact, I’d say it’s a good indication that you care about yourself and your job – assuming you’ll eventually grow out of it, as most people do.

As for being uncreative, this is a great opportunity to get back to basics. When I was an aspiring musician I used to have prolific periods and periods when I had no inspiration. I would simply sit down at the piano and practice. Now, when I’m a scientist, I teach. If I were a boxer, I’d practice my jabs. Polishing the basics not only gets your mind off things and helps alleviate the guilty feeling of being unproductive, but it also pays off in the long run, because you use them over and over again (that’s why they’re called basics ).