Bad movie alert! For those thinking to go see Uwe “I Make Shitty Movies” Boll’s new flick “Alone In The Dark”, please don’t. RottenTomatoes.com is already showing a 2% positive rating and the reviews are absolutely ghastly. Apparently it’s not even “so bad it’s good” it’s just awful.
Here are a few of my favorites.
“I didn’t see director Uwe Boll’s zombie dud House of the Dead, but on the evidence of Alone in the Dark, he belongs in the pantheon of hopelessly inept directors.”
– Lawrence Toppman, CHARLOTTE OBSERVER
“Saying Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark is better than his 2003 American debut House of the Dead is akin to praising syphilis for not being HIV.”
– Nicholas Schager, SLANT MAGAZINE
“As video game adaptations go, even Pong: The Movie would have a lot more personality.”
– Michael Rechtshaffen, HOLLYWOOD REPORTER
“On the short list of Worst Movies Ever Made.”
– Walter Chaw, FILM FREAK CENTRAL
Why do I care? Because I *loved* the original Alone in the Dark computer game. It was stylish Lovecraftian horror that made me literally frightened to play it. The puzzles were fun, the background and story were interesting and you were actually alone throughout the game. When the director of the movie “Alone In The Dark” insists on filling scenes with squads of soldiers shouting and a love interest (Tara Reid as a scientist in one of Hollywood’s worst casting choices ever) he’s proven that he’s so inept he can’t even grasp the concept of one of the words in his film’s title, much less how to create an enjoyable film.
And please, I know a lot of my friends will want to see this to see just how bad it is, but for the love of cinema, stop rewarding Hollywood for releasing crap.
Saturday’s forecast is “Cloudy with showers” at 9 degrees C. It’s not quite golfing weather, but it should be plenty good enough to go to the driving range.
Who’s with me?!
I’ve created a plugin for Wordpress that will change the header background of a page based on a custom field for the first post on that page. This was requested by my buddy Walter Costinak and you can see it in action on his blog (click on individual entry titles to see the header change).
If the first post on a page has no head_image custom field set the additional CSS line won’t be written and you’ll get the theme’s default image. The default settings are for the Benevolence theme/stylesheet but should be easy to modify to work with any style you’re using.
The source is available here. Copy this into a fresh headimage.php file, and make changes to the two defined variables if needed. Then upload it in your wp-content/plugins directory and activate the plugin.
Upload a header image into your /images directory (or whichever directory you’ve defined if you changed the variable) and then add a custom field to your entry with the key “head_image” and the value being the name of the header image file.
Update: I’ve updated the plugin to version 1.0 and it now works with Wordpress 2.1!
Mel & I went to see “In Good Company” last night. It wasn’t really a movie I’d have seen had we not been out already and looking for something to do.
It was pretty good. Mel liked it more than me. There weren’t really that many surprises though the ending wasn’t exactly what I predicted. Every once in a while the director would set up some “beauty shots” — a character stares through a colourful fish tank for a long time, or gazes out a window and the sky is perfect, that sort of thing. The only beauty he needed was more Scarlett Johansson. That girl is freaky hot.
Apparently illegalize is a word! Whoda thunk it!?
And I shall celebrate by the adding of rum to (diet vanilla) coke.
It’s been a busy week for me. Lots of stuff from AEG, plus my new server and a new domain that I’m setting up with a CMS(Content Management System), which I’ve never really done before. Where Wordpress (this blogging software) is easy to use but not entirely powerful, a full-fledged CMS program is crazy overkill and has a steep learning curve. But it’s fun. And let’s face it, CMS is the future of the web so I’d better get good at it.
I’ve also installed a Wiki, which is a database/encyclopedia that any visitor can modify, so the entries keep growing and become more useful. I’m not publicly releasing the location of it yet as it’s tied to the aformentioned CMS, but I will say that it’s City of Heroes related and should be totally awesome after we finish fleshing out the basic articles in it.
Have a good weekend everyone!
If you can see this, you can see the content on my new virtual dedicated server. I’m going to try to do more web work this year and with this I’ll be able to offer stable hosting to any new clients I pick up.
As opposed to most “shared” servers, the new holycow.com is entirely mine and has no arbitrary limits on domains I can host here. What this means is that I can offer hosting for friends who want to get their own blogs with their own domain set up, and all they have to do is register their domain (I like GoDaddy.com because they’re cheap but good) and then drop me a bit of money to help cover the costs of the server (I’m thinking $50/year) and they’ll have their own server with full control, a nice amount of storage and more bandwidth that holycow.com in its entirety normally uses. I’ll also set up Wordpress for you so you don’t even have to figure out how to set up the blog.
If you’re a friend of mine and this interests you, drop me an email.
Thanks to the Internet I’ve seen the first ten episodes of the new Battlestar Galactica series (starts on Space on January 15th!) and they are indeed amazing. I’d say it’s the best Sci-Fi series since Firefly (ok, not long ago, but Firefly was my favorite ever) and before Firefly… Babylon 5.
And I agree completely with Toren on the miniseries. I was certain it’d suck because they had increased the “hot chick” factor, but I was pleasantly surprised. I bought the DVD for the miniseries and watched it with my brother-in-law a few days ago and after having watched the series I caught a lot more cool subtleties and setups for the future. The “pretty good” miniseries became “very good” after seeing where they were going with it!
I heartily recommend the new Battlestar Galactica to anyone.
My hot redheaded wife has left me. But in her place I now have this hot blonde.
(note for the unaware: same wife)
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