Puck’s Blog

Xmas this year was good. For Xmas eve, I went over to my mom’s place to hang out with the family, including my niece Saoirse, who at three years old (four in February) gives us an excuse to continue the silly traditions we grew up with — stockings with stocking stuffers, presents from “Santa”, etc.

My brother-in-law Eric was there, so I carted my XBOX over so we could get some DOA3 action in between holiday cheer. We did a bit of that, but then watched Finding Nemo because Saoirse wanted to, and then some Scene-It later on because that let the whole family in. It’s tough being the only real gamer sometimes. Scene-It is a lot of fun. It’s sort of like a simplified Trivial Pursuit with questions all about movies, but they incorporate a DVD into the mix. Most questions are on cards in three categories, but sometimes you’ll have to go to the DVD to get a question, which will often follow a movie clip. Some of these questions are “All Play” challenges, so anyone can try to answer it. The DVD is also used as a question timer and it works well in that capacity too.

The next day we opened our presents. Mel got me Prince of Persia for the XBOX and I played it after the unwrapping frenzy had died down.

My mom’s dog, Mazzy, out of the blue walked over in front of the TV, squatted over the XBOX on the floor and proceeded to drop the hugest pile of dogshit I think I’ve ever seen right on top of the console.

I prize myself on being pretty unflappable. When other people are still being overwhelmed by something that just happened, I’m ready to get over it/deal with it.

Not this time.

I just sat there…

controller in my hand…

staring at this dog from hell…

as shit continued to come out of its ass like soft serve ice-cream…

on top of my XBOX.

I didn’t even think to yell at it. My mind was utterly overwhelmed by the sight in front of me. That might have beeen a good thing because looking back my initial response would’ve been to jump up and kick the dog in the throat. That would’ve been a bad, because it might have splattered the shit all over the place. Oh yeah, and hurting the dog would’ve… well, it might have knocked some sense into the idiot thing.

Eventually I yelled at it, my mom came downstairs to see what was going on, I told her to clean her dog’s crap from my XBOX, and she did. Then I yelled at the dog some more.

My sister Shannon, guardian of the dog and wise in the ways of training animals so that they behave (NOTE: THAT WAS DRIPPING WITH SARCASM, which is hard to convey on a blog) didn’t like that, and proceeded to cuddle and pet the dog and tell it not to listen to me and that it was, indeed, a good dog.

I believe she then gave it a treat.

Gee, how is it that dog is so screwed up, I wonder?